This morning, I had an interesting experience. I woke early, disturbed by a cat jumping on the bed. She settled and I relaxed and drifted into that half-sleep state where anything can happen.
Suddenly I felt a strong sense of unease. Trying to understand why, I saw “my” angel standing close by — I guess he’s my guardian angel because he always shows up when I need some kind of help. I asked him if he was worried about something, something I was doing or planning to do. He shook his head, and indicated a group of people. “They are worried,” he said.
I looked over at the people, emerging from the shadows. They were all kind of gray, certainly uncomfortable. I asked them what was wrong. But I didn’t get a clear answer. I turned back to the angel, and he said, “They are afraid.”
I asked them what they were afraid of. It seemed it was something I was going to do that would affect them. They were very nervous. I asked them if what I was doing was too much for them, that they couldn’t help me. One of them managed to communicate that they didn’t want to be sent away, to a scary place.
I tried to reassure them, saying I wouldn’t send them away, that they are all good people, and I appreciate all the help they give me. But they weren’t convinced.
I wanted them to feel happy, not sad and afraid. But I didn’t know what would make them happy, so I asked, “Did you enjoy the fireworks last night?” I was referring to the amazing 4th of July fireworks celebrating the 250th birthday of the United States.
They just muttered amongst themselves. Of course, being British, July 4th doesn’t exactly count as a celebration where I’m from! One of them complained that they knew people who died in the war that followed. I responded that people on both sides died. They seemed to accept that point, that war causes suffering for everyone.
But there was still muttering. So, I added, “There was good music too. Did you enjoy that?”
The mood changed and they became more hopeful. The song “Sweet Caroline” came into my head. And lo and behold they started singing it! They all got into it, moving forward closer to me and singing loudly. They looked so happy I just started laughing. They were all smiling and joyful.
They kept singing, repeating the song over and over. I turned to the angel and asked how long they would keep singing. He just smiled, “There’s no time here so they will just keep on singing!” I shook my head laughing and looked away, and lay in my bed thinking I would go back to sleep.
A while later, perhaps an hour later, I wondered if they were still singing. I checked, and sure enough they were! As I watched and listened, I realized I could hear instruments accompanying them, and there was a man in front conducting them all. They were all really into it. There was even a brass section with trumpets who all stood up when they played the chorus and the singers belted out “Buh, Buh, Buh” and “So good! So good! So good.” I was laughing again. It was so much fun!
Then a man appeared with a bass drum. He was marching around and playing his drum loudly, but missing the beat. I told him, “You are not keeping the beat. Why don’t you go and stand by the drummer with the drum kit, he’s playing in time.” “No, I play in a marching band!” he responded, and kept marching around.
“OK, I said, try playing when the brass section stands up.” He tried that and it was much better.
Then I saw more marching band people coming in playing snare drums. Goodness, I thought, what will be next — pipes? At that thought the whole brass section (which seemed to have multiplied and included every brass instrument that exists) stood up and played extra loud. I guess not. Bagpipes wouldn’t fit with “Sweet Caroline.” Maybe another time.
How about dancers, I thought. But the angel and the conductor both shook their heads. There are no dancers, but the singers can sway they told me. Sure enough, the whole group of singers were swaying together in time to the music.
I turned away again for a bit. I could still hear the music so I looked again. Suddenly my parents appeared, dancing together in front of the singers. They were young and happy, laughing and twirling around, and in full color. Amazing! Then more people appeared and joined them on the “dance floor.”
I recognized my aunt and uncle. Then I saw my grandmother. She was standing, tapping her foot, but had no dance partner. Where is her husband, I wondered, and realized I had never met him. But he should come, I thought, I’d like to meet him. I saw a man walking in, but before he could reach her my mother’s cousin jumped in and grabbed my grandmother and twirled her around. I laughed again. That was so like him to make a grand entrance.
It was such a joyful scene. All those people singing and playing instruments and dancing to “Sweet Caroline.” They were all dressed in bright clothes now, and looked like they could party all night, as we would in the physical world. I was just smiling and feeling so much joy.
Then, the conductor slowed the tempo for a final chorus. The music came to an end. My ancestors all stopped dancing. Then they turned toward me, in a line. They looked quite serious now. Together they all took a step forward and bowed, to me. I could feel their gratitude and support. My heart was moved, and tears came to my eyes.
Then, slowly they all moved to the sides. The singers and musicians moved away, fading into the background. It seemed the “show” was over.
But what a show it was! So much joy. “Sweet Caroline” brought the joy!!