Which should rule, the “heart” or the “head,” is an age-old debate, with arguments on both sides, and other voices claiming that what is really needed is balance. Balance sounds right, but how do we achieve it?
First, though, let’s review what we mean by using the heart or the head for decision-making.
The “head” represents rational thought, logical analysis of the situation, predicting outcomes, and making a choice based on data and detailed planning.
The “heart” represents feelings, emotion, and intuition, with the desire to experience joy and happiness, and can lead to impulsive decisions that are not well thought out.
So, the question is whether to focus on logical reasoning or emotion and desire in making decisions. Obviously, both approaches have strengths and both have weaknesses. There are decisions that require one to dominate. Financial matters, for example, can go disastrously wrong when the heart is allowed to rule; logical analysis is needed. Equally, choosing a marriage partner based on the head alone is not a prescription for lifelong happiness; the heart is deeply involved in the kind of loving relationship that is the foundation of a good marriage.
However, this does not mean that head or heart alone should be the only voice in making the decision. Even in these somewhat extreme examples, decision-making would benefit from a little input from the other side, don’t you think? Some financial decisions cry out for a bit of heart, such as when your beloved child is in a bind through no fault of their own and is desperate for a loan to get them through this difficult period. In choosing a marriage partner it is unfortunately not the case that “love is all you need.” A couple may be in love but their lives are incompatible in terms of their careers or family responsibilities, and what is needed is a clear head to recognize that sacrifices would be needed and to include that in the decision on whether to commit to marriage.
The conclusion that makes the most sense is that both head and heart are needed, albeit in varying proportions. So, back to my question, how do we achieve balance between them? Most people favor one over the other, at least most of the time. Or they may have learned, probably from bitter experience, which to use in certain situations. It is very hard to listen to both “voices” and make the decision. I mean, if both sides are actually me arguing my case, then, assuming I am taking each approach seriously, both arguments may be equally good or bad so no winner will emerge.
Perhaps what is needed is another voice. No, not the voice of reason! I am thinking of the voice of my spouse. I freely admit that I am primarily a “head” person, analytical and rational, thinking step by step how to approach and solve problems. My husband is quite the opposite. He is a true artist, creative, and sees each situation in terms of images that evoke positive or negative feelings. He will focus on a particular aspect and react to it. His focus often confuses me, as I have no idea how he got to that place which seems not even to be in my step-by-step analysis. But when I understand what he saying it sheds new light on the situation, and often leads us to the best conclusion.
Of course, that doesn’t mean he never thinks logically and rationally and I never have any contributions based on emotion or desire. We often switch approaches, but interestingly we usually balance each other so that in our decision-making as a couple both head and heart are well represented. Now it’s not always a simple, painless process. Sometimes it takes a while to get to that balance and harmony so that a decision we are both happy with can be made.
This brings me back to the origin, God who created us with both rational thinking, the “head,” and the desire to experience joy, the “heart.” In the book I co-authored with Dietrich F. Seidel, Reflections on Unification Theology: Revealing the World of Heart, we discuss how God made the decision to create based on the desire to actualize joy through love. Then God reflected, and made the plan, the blueprint, to create human beings and all the entities that make up this amazing cosmic reality.
Ye-Jin Moon, in Divine Heart Principle Part I, further clarifies how God had free will concerning when to embark on the creative process. Our creator chose to not to act immediately on the irrepressible desire to experience joy through love, in other words “heart,” that necessarily seeks to create beings with which to share love as soon as possible, choosing to invest rational thought and detailed planning, or “head,” to come up with the most perfect created reality that would satisfy that desire. In other words, God balanced heart and head harmoniously to bring about the best possible result.
We can’t deny that the world, the physical universe, and the world of spirit that we hope is our eternal destiny, is an amazing accomplishment. The only problem is that we human beings mess up. We don’t make the best choices. We don’t balance the heart and the head very well. But that is a story for another day, another article.